I think I know what happiness feels like, finally, right now, at this moment. Last 3 days of the year and as much as I do not wish to jinx this yet, but it has been a fucking awesome year for me.
December has always been such a beautiful month. The month you slowly wrap things up from the entire year, the month you give, the month you feel so much…….and coincidentally, the month you seem to somehow live to the fullest. I’m so exhausted at this point of time but I can’t say enough, how whole my heart feels. This entire week has been so intense from packing and unpacking almost every other day, jumping from one place to another….I barely actually slept at home, but it was a time I came to realize I really have so much to be thankful for.
Church camp was amazing. Nuff said. God just work in so many unexpected ways it leaves me so fascinated. I initially thought I was too old for this camp, thought it would be tough to connect with the growing youths, doubted how I could lead the lil’ ones through this camp, and doubted what I can actually gain from this but what was I even worrying about???????? I wouldn’t deny being with the younger ones really drain all the energy left in you but they too bring so much joy to you. And I saw how I grew even more, spiritually in just merely 4 days. While many were in tears during extended worship, I saw myself in endless smiles, mouthing “Thank you God for all the blessings you had blessed upon me. What can I ask for now? What is more? Because I have everything.”
And unto new beginnings, I’m nervous about it but I know everything will fall in it’s own rightful place. After all, don’t beginning always seem to be overwhelming initially but we somehow get through it? Bring it on, I say (-:
It just…..It just fascinates me so much how much my life can change in just merely 2/3 years time. It feels like happiness is clouding over every bit of my life right now I honestly can’t recall how much it used to hurt before. I’m so contented you’ve no idea, and tho life still has its shit………..what more can I ask for? Because I really do have more than I can possibly ask. I’m whole again, I really am.
(To God be the glory)
Have a lovely night everyone 💕